From here, Our Boy embarks on a linear quest that involves: Consulting with a witch, befriending a pint-sized sorcerer named Doodad (played by Laurie Field, voiced by Patton Oswalt), plundering a crypt, swatting at an eyeball with bat wings, fighting a legless wraith, befriending a lady thief-slash-warrior named Brisbayne (Christina Orjalo), encountering an old chrome-domed friend named Jotak (Paul Lazenby) who’s converted into the evil general of the Dreadite army, battling a stone warrior with green laser eyes, fighting a mummy who looks like Eddie the Head from the Powerslave album cover, hugging hideous swamp creatures and, eventually, confronting the evil sorcerer Necronemnon (Nicholas Rice) before he decimates Abraxion by devouring all the scenery and leaving nothing for people to stand in front of. Kostanski has gleefully plundered Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead films, especially Army of Darkness (when Bernhardt isn’t being discount-bin Hamm, he’s basically a less chinny Bruce Campbell), and plucked the campiest morsels from the bones of the Conan films, while occasionally threatening to let the whole shebang devolve into the world’s most violent Power Rangers episode. The characters are wooden, with a single trait each – Deathstalker is good at swords, Brisbayne is sneaky and Doodad might be the shittiest sorcerer in the history of shit – and the score is lifted from a fourth-tier heavy metal record in the cut-out bin at Musicland in the local mall that was bulldozed in 1994 to erect a Lowe’s.
Author: mliss1578
Published at: 2026-04-03 21:30:00
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