U.S. — Amid the news that Secretary of War Pete Hegseth had revised the fitness requirements for all armed forces personnel, one unfortunate side effect that may have gone unnoticed was the sad reality that the new military fitness standards would make your mom unable to join the military. Hegseth made the announcement yesterday in an address to all the top brass of the armed forces, vowing to hold all members of the military to higher standards of physical fitness, which experts said ruled your mom out completely. A military fighting force needs to be capable of performing reasonable feats of physical strength while maintaining an appropriate body fat percentage, and the world can agree that your mom does not meet even the minimum requirement."
Author: Babylon Bee
Published at: 2025-10-01 21:21:12
Still want to read the full version? Full article
